The first song I fell in love with
Judy Teen by Cockney Rebel. I’d seen Steve Harley on Top of the Pops and liked his look, with the mascara and bowler hat, like Alex from A Clockwork Orange. One day, me and my mates decided to cycle to Salisbury Plain. I had a transistor radio tied to the handlebars and Judy Teen came on. Unfortunately, the batteries ran out when we got to Swiss Cottage [in north London] … and my legs ran out at the same time!
The first single I bought
The Wall Street Shuffle by 10cc, from Woolworths in Camden Town. Later on, we used to pinch records, but I paid my dues for a while.
The song I do at karaoke
I normally have a go at (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin. It’s a big song, man. But I’m never shy. When I do karaoke, it’s usually like: “Dad, get off, for fuck’s sake.”
The best song to play at a party
For dancing, Teardrops by Womack & Womack. It’s so simple, so uplifting. The wildest party I’ve ever thrown? We once had an end-of-tour party in Australia. All I can remember is our saxophone player chasing Duffy’s backing singers round a gigantic polystyrene volcano in his underpants.
The song I can no longer listen to
Someone showed me an interview I did with Smash Hits. And I’d said: “There’s no way I’ll still be playing Baggy Trousers when I’m an old man of 30.” Those words still ring in my ears at 64 years old. But because the band took a long time out, I enjoy it more now.
The song I secretly like, but tell everybody I hate
White Flag by Dido. The lyric is, like, “I’m not going to let this shit sink me”, which is quite moving when you’ve had a couple and Chelsea have lost.
The best song to have sex to
I’ve heard there are rock stars who listen to their own records. I find that disturbing. Can you imagine popping on House of Fun? For me, the most romantic song is Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On. That is so sensual, shall we say, without getting too lurid.
The song that changed my life
I heard Prince Buster’s Al Capone in a pool hall on Tottenham Court Road and loved the energy, humour and spirit. Then I played the B-side, which was One Step Beyond. So it was a pretty epochal 45, that: Madness did One Step Beyond as our second single.
The song that makes me cry
Cry Me a River by Julie London. Funnily enough, when I moved into my first house in Camden, I had no furniture except a jukebox – and the only record on it was Cry Me a River. I had a housewarming party and it started sending everyone mad. Someone unplugged the jukebox in the end.
The song I want played at my funeral
Is That All There Is? by Peggy Lee. I find it uplifting, because we all suffer these things in life. Will my funeral be happy or sad? Depends who you’re talking to. Some people will be happy. A couple will be sad. But I’d like a jolly affair.
Madness’s new greatest hits collection Hit Parade is out on 21 November.
